Ah, so we meet again, Two Week Wait. I never knew that two weeks actually consisted of 4,398 days and yet, here we are. This is the time when I lose the last bits of my sanity and my mind can only focus on two things: reasons why I’m definitely pregnant, and reasons why I’m definitely not. Sprinkle in talking about TTC with my husband every five minutes, add a dash of symptom spotting, and that pretty much sums up my TWW. I’ve started to develop a “it doesn’t matter, what’s done is done” attitude about the TWW, but that doesn’t help much when your end goal is to try to find out what exactly was done (ie. did we figure it out this time or not?!). I still marvel at the women who say, “Realized I was 3 weeks late – just got my BFP!” as I’m sitting here constantly re-checking the calendar to see how many days I have until I can test. What’s their secret? How do they just “forget” when the day of reckoning is upon them?! I’m going to be real with you, I have very little advice for how to get through these weeks (hence the singular use of ‘do’ and ‘don’t’). I’m just an impatient woman trying to get through one of the worst parts about TTC.
The Do: Always Be Prepared
That’s right, I stole a Boy Scout motto. It’s no use pretending I’m not thinking about if I’m pregnant (which, no technically I’m not because implantation occurs 7 DPO, so chill TF out self!), so instead I find a better way to direct my thoughts. I make plans. Plans about when I’ll take my HPT, how I’ll announce to my husband, what I’ll do to keep friends and family from finding out too early. The announcement plans led me to purchase the below onesie (after my husband and I have both boldly stated we “feel good about this month” – so I’m officially a jinx-aholic).
Is it completely adorable and will my husband (who casually asked if I was “thinking of ways to announce to him” – uh, well now I am!) love it? Of course. Do I now have my mind filled with images of me sobbing over said onesie every month for the next year? Yep.
I make plans for if AF shows up what I’ll try for the next month (yes – I have a running list, including Month 7 where it just says “call sister”), and begin finding reasons why it’ll be okay if I’m not pregnant (you do have that Bachelorette party in two weeks…and think of all the deli meat you can still eat)! This may come as a shock to you, but I’m a strong believer in the “Drink Till It’s Pink” philosophy, mostly because it keeps me living life as normal as possible and it’s a helpful distraction (in moderation, of course).
I even check my TTC app to see what my symptoms were the previous months so that I can begin to ignore nausea, fatigue, and cramps as anything but that: symptoms. There’s no guarantee that anything means pregnancy, so I just keep preparing for either outcome. This all might sound crazy and not helpful, as you’re trying to avoid thinking about pregnancy all day long but…YOU’RE GOING TO THINK ABOUT IT ALL DAY LONG. Might as well take a note from this Type-Aer and put those thoughts towards something that feels way more productive than symptom spotting for two straight weeks.
The Don’t: Google Every Symptom
Google was my BFF for the first three months of TTC, because every time I searched something I immediately discovered that I was 100% pregnant and I should run around celebrating that cramp I briefly felt in the morning. Google is the gateway drug to symptom spotting. You want people to say that you’re pregnant because you woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee? BOOM – three articles and several chat sites where everyone says that’s how they first knew that they were pregnant. What about the other thousands of articles saying that you don’t have increased urination until later in pregnancy? Nah, they’re probably wrong.
The best and worst thing about the Internet is that you can always find what you’re looking for – which can be dangerous when we’re talking about getting hopes up that you’re pregnant. I used to search every little symptom (like: what does morning sickness actually feel like – because an apple and peanut butter sounded disgusting and I NEED TO KNOW IF THAT MEANS I’M PREGNANT) to the point where it started to autofill “early sign of pregnancy” for me. For instance, I’m a grown woman who still gets bloody noses (super fun) and after I recently typed in “frequent bloody noses” Google once again autofilled “early sign of pregnancy”, and I thought, go on…
The Entire Internet: Bloody noses during pregnancy don’t occur until much later – like, third trimester later. Get off the Internet and stop acting like a mad woman.
So, I don’t search things anymore. As a semi-veteran TTConceiver, I’ve learned that it causes more harm than good to read into every little twinge and stomach ache. Just keep yourself busy in other ways (even if it’s baby-related distractions) and find a way to reward yourself for all the hard work you did the previous week.
Of course, none of this applies when AF actually shows up. You have my full permission to lose your damn mind and wallow in self pity for her entire visit.