Just kidding, this is raw pineapple here folks, not to be confused with its chilled foamy sister drink. I’ve heard enough about the wonders of pineapple core that I figured I have to try it out myself. If you haven’t joined the pineapple craze yet, here’s the jist: pineapple core contains Bromelain which is a natural anti-inflammatory (think: aspirin) and is supposed to help with implantation. You simply cut up a pineapple into even pieces and have a slice a day to keep AF away! (Well, really only a slice for every 1-5 days after confirmed ovulation – bring out those OPKs!)
My original plan for this cycle didn’t actually work out (because, why would it?) I was going to try a 21 day sugar detox in an effort to keep a tidy uterus this time around (no processed foods, no coffee, no WINE), but this failed almost immediately. I wasn’t expecting to feel so low on energy, so stressed out about meal prep, and so utterly dependent on my usual sugar intake. I also struggled because half the recipes I found for the detox involved eggs and (the irony is not lost on me): I’m allergic to eggs. No wonder implantation hasn’t occurred! *cue comedic drum roll*
Anyway, I came up with the genius idea that the pineapple (and its core) would be my only treat during those three weeks – until I noticed that my ovulation symptoms completely disappeared after just three days of the detox. I panicked and stopped being so strict on what I ate and focused on just being healthy (still no alcohol until this cycle ends – I can almost see the wine at the end of the tunnel!) CD 24 and the only sign I’ve had is a positive OPK – which, apparently, doesn’t mean you’re actually ovulating. So, that’s fun. Due to my lack of symptoms, I’m 99.9% sure I had an anovulatory cycle this month – which is another way of saying that my ovaries went on strike. I don’t care if they need a break, I thought we were in this together! (Side note: when I searched anovulatory cycle, the first definition that popped up included the line, “In the absence of ovulation, there will be infertility.” Which is the last word I ever want to hear while TTC.) Still, there’s my 0.01% sliver of hope that pricks at me each morning and motivates me to grab a bite of pineapple core.
So, without further adieu, see below for the steps and amateur photos of pineapple cutting for implantation!
Step One is the easiest step of them all (unless it’s winter, then I presume it might prove to be a bit more difficult, but I’m no expert on the Pineapple Cycle): Buy a Pineapple
Most things I read said to use an organic pineapple, but my wallet said that the non-organic will get the job done just as well.
Step Two: Remove the stalk
This is when I immediately realized I had my work cutout for me (which is one of my least favorite sayings of all time, because to me that sounds like it’s actually easy).
Step Three: Cut the top and bottom off of your pineapple
Shake your head at the atrocious angled ends you’ve created.
Step Four: Start slicing the skin off vertically as you go around the pineapple
This part is easier since you’re mostly cutting through the soft flesh (I’ve seen some people refer to that section as ‘the ovaries’ which is a little too close to home for me).
Step Five: Use a melon scooper (or potato peeler) to take out the rest of the “tough spots” you have remaining
Please don’t mistake my shoddy cutting for my actual skills in the kitchen!
Step Six: Slice the pineapple into equal sized pieces
Step Seven: Enjoy a slice per day for 1-5 DPO (which, according to my app, actually starts two days after you get a positive OPK – probably due to the fact that you can ovulate 12-48 hours after a positive result)
I got a little nervous about the freshness of my pineapple since it had been sitting on my counter for a week (thanks late pos OPK…), so I cut out the core to eat and froze the rest for a “does this help with implantation too?” smoothie. Maybe it’s just the aftereffects of my three day detox talking, but besides it being a little tougher than the flesh, I enjoyed my morning core! If pineapple isn’t your fav, there are Bromelain tablets that you can buy, or some women take baby aspirin for the five days, but there’s something about going straight to the source that made me feel like I was getting the most benefits (again, pretending that I did ovulate this month). Like anything, I’m sure that eating it each cycle could get a bit boring, but I think it’s worth the try if you enjoy pineapple. After all – what could it hurt? (Answer: sperm, actually! I’ve read enough articles that say consuming too much pineapple can cause a hostile environment, so be sure to use OPKS so you know exactly when to start!)